May 16, 1999 - May 22, 1999

Sunday, May 16

Monday, May 17

Tuesday, May 18
Back from Aunt Catherine's funeral. Tired.

Wednesday, May 19
Spoke to Don on the phone. The "pre-teach" went well, all mostly "over-learned" material. Good thing, too, since the workshop is this coming weekend. Because of his teaching commitment, we won't be spending Friday night together, nor most of Saturday. I'll get to Bolinas Saturday night, rather late.

Thursday, May 20

Friday, May 21

Saturday, May 22
I arrive in Bolinas about 8:00 PM, having put in three hours at work and several hours at home doing chores that should have gotten done last weekend. I notice quite a lot of stuff has already been moved out of Don's room. He and David took one very heavy load to Jessica and Kent's earlier in the week.

We dine at Stinson Grill, attended by an inattentive waiter. "I think he likes us," Don says.

"I think he doesn't even know we're here," I say.

During dinner, we talk about the upcoming move. Don is feeling overwhelmed by the move, despite all of David's help.

He says, "It's bad enough keeping track of things when they're all in one place, or at least they're supposed to be. But now, it's 'which box is it in?' and 'is it here or in Oakland?'"

He is very grateful for David's help. All the stuff that has already been moved the two of them moved in one trip. He is off on his trip to India now.

"You know," I say, "I think he really loves you."

"He credits me with coming to Bolinas and turning his life around, but I really had little to do with it."

"It must be tough for him. I mean, there is no social model for how a straight man can love a gay man. Our society has no model for love without sex." There are constructs for parental love, of course, but that is not love between equals. Our attitude towards those who profess agape - a love apart from eros - is curiosity or incredulity. We don't really believe them. We think of religious vocations such as celebate priests and monks as being either eunichs or hypocrites.



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© 2000 Louis Flint Ceci / ceci@best.com